Pansy's Competition
by De Felton
Summary: A new chick moves in on Pansy's man... *jaws theme plays in the background*
1. Pansy

(-----PANSY-----(  
Pansy sat on the Hogwarts Express, her hands folded tightly in her lap. Her trunk was at her feet and her black kitten lay curled beside her in the corner. She looked nervously at the two strange girls sitting beside her, then at Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle, who were sitting across from them. She tried to catch Draco's eye, but she could tell he was avoiding her. He had been avoiding her all morning.  
"So," One of the girls said, breaking the akward silence. "What will happen to us since we transferred?"  
Draco was quick to answer, almost too quick. "You'll probably be sorted into Slytherin. I hope," He added, blushing.  
Pansy bit her bottom lip nervously. She turned to look out the window. Green hills sped in and out of her view. She watched her three friends' reflections in the mirror. Not a single one had said a word to her since the last day of school. Had Draco lost interest in her? Probably, she wasn't all that great looking.  
She turned to the girl sitting to her right. She had short black hair, green eyes, and dark skin. She was short and curvy, and seemed to be flirting non-stop with Draco. Pansy had to fight back the urge to curse the girl. The girl at the other end of the seat had brown hair, brown eyes, and was a lot taller than the first. They seemed to be good friends. Pansy was happy to see that the second girl kept her hands away from Draco, as well as her eyes.  
"Draco, where's your father?" The second girl asked anxiously, her eyes reflecting the sunlight. "Does he ever go to school to visit you?"  
"Sometimes," Draco said slowly. "Why?"  
"No reason," The girl said quickly, exchanging a look with the first. She narrowed her eyes at Pansy. "Oh, I'm sorry, we haven't introduced ourselves yet have we?"  
Pansy shook her head, feeling herself blush. She didn't like talking to people she didn't know, she had the feeling that they would instantly hate her. "I'm Pansy," she muttered.  
"I'm Erica and this is my friend De," The second girl introduced.  
"Where are you from?" Pansy asked curiously, hearing their accents.  
"I'm from America," Erica said. "And De's from the Philippines."  
De nodded, confirming her origin. "But I used to live in America, until Erica and I moved up here. We moved right next to Draco. Isn't that funny?"  
"Hilarious," Pansy said bitterly, faking a smile.  
De raised her eyebrows, shook her head, and turned back to Draco. "So tell me how dorms work."  
Erica giggled. "I'm pretty sure they watch out for that kind of stuff De. And you had better be careful."  
De rolled her eyes. "I'm a big girl, Erry, I can take care of myself." She turned back to Draco. "So?"  
"Well there's a girls' dorm and a boys' dorm, they're right across the hall from eachother," Draco answered.  
"How are we ever going to pull this off?" Erica asked, apparently worried about something.  
"Pull what off?" Pansy asked suspiciously.  
"Nothing, Pansy." Draco snapped angrily.  
Pansy blushed furiously. "They aren't witches, are they, Draco?"  
De gasped. "She's onto us!"  
Erica elbowed her in the stomach. "Oh will you be quiet? She wouldn't have been if you'd have kept your big mouth shut."  
De giggled. "If you gotta know, we aren't."  
"Then why are they here?" Pansy asked Draco.  
"Because, my father got them in, he said they transferred from an American school," He didn't look at Pansy when he spoke. "And don't you dare tell anyone about it, Pansy, or there'll be hell to pay."  
"What, are you two dating now?" Pansy asked, shocked.  
For some reason, De and Erica burst into laughter. "Dating?" De managed to say. "That's one way to put it."  
Draco blushed twice as hard as Pansy had. "She- doesn't have to know that."  
Pansy was disgusted. "Oh, no! Draco, why'd you do that to me?"  
"Do what to who?" Erica asked, not laughing. "You two weren't dating first, were you?"  
"I thought we were," Pansy said, scowling.  
"This keeps getting better and better!" De said, still laughing.  
"Oh shut up!" Pansy cried, picking up her kitten and leaving the compartment. 


	2. De

(-----DE-----(  
De watched Pansy leave, then turned to Draco. "Well that worked perfectly."  
Draco grinned and nodded. "I let her down hard, huh?"  
De nodded. Erica and Draco switched seats. "So, seriously, about your dad?" Erica asked eagerly.  
"You like him, don't you, Erica?" De asked.  
"No."  
"Yes you do!" De exclaimed, smiling. "Gross, he's old enough to be your dad! I thought you were just joking."  
"Which means, if we get married, then she'll be my step-mother, and your step-mother-in-law." Draco said, disgusted.  
De nodded. "That's exactly what I said. That's messed up." She looked over at Crabbe and Goyle. "Do you two ever talk?"  
"They used to talk to Pansy," Draco said, kicked her trunk out of the way. "But I told them not to."  
"I see, so they listen to everything you say?" Erica asked curiously.  
"Yeah," Draco answered proudly.  
"That might come in handy," De said thoughtfully as the train pulled to a stop. Pansy stormed in with another girl- both glaring- and dragged her trunk out into the hallway of the train. De giggled. "She's angry."  
"She isn't really that bad," Draco said. "Just a little desperate."  
"I bet." De reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Erica leaned over and looked at it.  
"You brought that along?" She asked, laughing hard as she grabbed her suitcase.  
De nodded. "Of course, I couldn't leave Tom at home."  
"Who's Tom?" Draco asked, leaning over to see the picture. "Why isn't he moving?"  
"Because that's what Emma Watson does to guys," De said seriously, folding the picture and sliding it back into her back pocket. "She immobilizes them with fear."  
Erica giggled and handed De her blue knapsack. "Wow, this is light. Did you bring any clothes?"  
"Yes, but most of it is shirts."  
"And CDs?" Erica asked, opening the side compartment. De snatched it away from her.  
"Yes! I can't live without music. They don't have music in England, I don't think, just in America."  
"Where are you going to get a stereo?"  
"I brought a walkman."  
"Where will you get an electric outlet?"  
"We're going to school, Erica, not a prison."  
"I know that De, but I don't think they even know what electricity is. They use magic."  
"Then I brought batteries."  
"You're going to need a lot of batteries."  
"So, I'll go to the store and get some."  
"Where will you find a store?"  
"What, they don't have stores in England?"  
"Not here!"  
"Then I'll get them from the vending machine."  
"How many times do I have to tell you, De, they don't have electricity!"  
"And why not? If the British are so advanced, having their tea parties and what-not, why don't they have friggin' electricity?"  
"They have electricity in England, but not at school!"  
"Why not?"  
"Because they have magic!"  
"Then make magical electricity."  
"They can't make magical electriciy."  
"Then they don't have light?"  
"Of course they do, you idiot."  
"Magical lightbulbs that run off magical electricity?"  
"No, they have candles I guess."  
"How can they read with candles?"  
"People used to do it in the 1400s and stuff."  
"Yeah, but that was just because they didn't listen to Benjamin Frainklin."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Benjamin Frainklin invented electricity, but they didn't want to use it because they thought he was an alien."  
"That isn't at all what happened, and he lived in the 1800s."  
"1800s, 1400s, there's no difference really. Time is overrated. Back to candles. Can you run a walkman off candle electricity?"  
"No!"  
"Why not?"  
"Because candles do not generate electricity, De."  
"So, I'll go to the outside electric outlet."  
"What?"  
"My house, we have an outlet in the front yard. I'll just use theirs. I don't mind sitting outside getting fresh air."  
"You need fresh air! They do not have any electricity there!"  
"Don't be silly, Erica. They have to have electricity to warm their water for their tea."  
"They can use fires."  
"Then I'll use fire-electricity. See, Erica, you know there's no point in arguing with me."  
"There's no such thing as fire-electricity. And not all British people drink tea, that's a stereotype."  
"Stereo! See you admit it!"  
"I admit what?"  
"I'm not alone cause the TV's on, I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills every day and rest."  
"What?"  
"Clean your conscience, clear your thoughts with speyside and your grain."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt. Our hearts littering the topsoil. Tune in and we can get the last call."  
"De, have you gone completely insane?"  
"Our lives, our coal. Sign up, it's the picket line or the parade."  
"De stop, you're freaking me out."  
"I bled the greed from my arm, won't they give it a rest now, now, now, now?"  
"DE!"  
"What?"  
"What is wrong with you?"  
"Bleed America!"  
"What's that mean?"  
"It's a song. I was singing."  
Erica rolled her eyes. "Of course you were." 


	3. Draco

Draco laughed at De. His new girlfriend was so cute. But he couldn't believe her friend liked his dad. That was just nasty. He took the bag from De.  
"And actually, I have electricity at my house," He told her.  
"You have a lot more than electricity," De answered, smiling mischeviously. Erica rolled her eyes.  
"At least he doesn't have a ten year old girl. Come on, De, let's go."  
"Do you seriously drink tea, though?" De asked as Erica grabbed her wrist and led her off the train.  
"Yes. Don't you?" Draco said, hurrying to keep up with them.  
"I did in Asia, I like green tea with pandan."  
"Pandan?" Draco repeated. "What's that?"  
"Mashed up pandas," De said, giggling as she stepped down.  
Draco saw the top of Pansy's head. She was surrounded by a group of Slytherin girls, and was obviously crying. He rolled his eyes. She was so dramatic. So he had cheated on her. Couldn't she see that she had never really meant anything to him?  
"That's so immature, De." Erica said, scowling as she dropped her friends hand.  
"You're one to talk about immature, when you don't even know about fire- and candle-electricity."  
"Would you two stop arguing until we can get inside?" Draco said, smirking.  
"That's impossible, she's like a four year old," Erica said angrily.  
"I'm not four!" De snapped. "I'm two!"  
They both laughed. Erica pointed up at the building in front of them. "There, you see. That's why they don't have electricity."  
"Oh, my! It's a castle!" De gasped.  
"Did you listen to Draco and Lucius telling us about it?"  
"You're on a first name basis with him?" Draco asked, frowning.  
"Of course not," De answered Erica, not hearing Draco's comment. "Do I ever listen to anything anyone says?" 


	4. Pansy2

As the students hurried into the Great Hall, Pansy snuck away to her familiar dorm room. Luckily the portrait recognized Pansy, and saw that she was crying, and so she was allowed to enter. She rushed to her room before anyone noticed her absence and came to search for her. She dragged her trunk up the stairs and to the edge of her bed. She slowly unpacked, folding each item of clothing slowly. She didn't see any extra beds, which meant the two new girls wouldn't be staying in her room.  
As she put her last pair of flannel pajama pants in the bottom drawer of her bedside dresser, she realized she was starving. She changed into her robes quickly and sprinted all the way to the Great Hall. She stopped when she saw Draco and his new girlfriend, the one named De, making out at the farthest corner of the table. The other girl, Erica, was deep in conversation with Draco's father. Pansy scowled at them.  
"Hey, Pansy!" A voice called from behind her. Pansy spun around on her heels. It was Marcus Flint. "You got your schedule yet?"  
"No," Pansy muttered. She had never liked Marcus. "Why?"  
"Well, where've you been?"  
"That's not your buisness, is it?" Pansy snapped angrily.  
"Alright then, I just wanted to give you it," He handed her a piece of paper, with five days worth of classes printed neatly on the front and her name on the back. "Snape was looking for you."  
"That's wonderful."  
"He said he saw you crying."  
"Once again, that's wonderful."  
Marcus frowned. "You don't take me seriously, do you?"  
"Not really," Pansy answered, looking at her paper.  
"Do you have good classes?"  
"Of course not!" Pansy said angrily, putting the paper in her pocket. "I have to take them with the other Slytherins my age."  
"And so? That's never been much of a problem before, has it?" Marcus asked curiously. Pansy wished he would just go away.  
"No it hasn't, not until this morning."  
"Well what happened this morning that changed it all?"  
"Go away, Marcus!" Pansy exclaimed, turning back around and walking quickly into the Great Hall. No one noticed her entrance. She heard Marcus's footsteps behind her, and prayed he wouldn't say another word to her. She sat down next to a blonde girl in her year and poured herself a glass of ice water. She wasn't in the mood for anything else.  
"What's wrong, Pansy?" The girl asked.  
"Not a thing," Pansy hissed, glaring at Draco. He didn't look up.  
"How was your summer? Did you get lots of mail from Draco?"  
"It was horrible and no, he's found an American girl that he likes better than me, apparently."  
"I don't think she's American, Pansy." The girl said, following Pansy's gaze. "She's really dark and she sort of has an accent."  
"I don't care where she's originally from, she's still American and I still hate her. She isn't even a witch!" Pansy cried.  
"Of course she is," The girl laughed. "Why else would she be here?"  
"Because Draco's father got them in," Pansy frowned. "Who are you anyways?"  
"I'm Amie," The girl said, raising her eyebrows. "You still don't even know my name?"  
"I knew it, I just forgot it," Pansy lied, trying to be more polite. "You're the one who liked Draco two years ago, right?"  
Amie nodded. "Yes, but I still do. He's really cute."  
Pansy scowled. "That's one way to put it."  
Amie looked down at her plate, which now was clear. "Guess it's time to get going. I'll see you around, Pansy."  
Pansy nodded curtly and stood up and ran all the way back to the common room. 


	5. De2

De pulled away from Draco. She tugged on the end of Erica's sweater- neither of them had to wear robes, thankfully- and whispered, "Look, Erica, it's Draco's dad!"  
"Hm?" Erica said, looking up. "Where?"  
De pointed at him. He was standing in the entrance, leaning casually against the wall. "Right there. Go talk to him."  
Draco moaned in disgust. "Don't do that. that's gross."  
"I'm too shy," Erica said, frowning nervously. "I would- but, you know."  
"Fine, I guess I have to do things my way." De stood up, cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, "Hey, father of the boy I'm screwing, come over here!"  
Erica blushed and several people looked over at them. But Lucius heard her, and to De that was all that mattered. He walked over to them, smiling.  
"Oh, I'm sorry," Erica said, her face buried in her hands. "De why did you have to say 'screwing'."  
"I'm not going to lie, Erica. Lying is bad." De giggled and stood up. "I'm going to go and see what stuff I can light on fire."  
"There's this wood statue not far from here," Draco said thoughtfully. "You could light that."  
"Wood burns pretty good," De said, smiling. "You want to come?"  
"Actually, I thought I'd-"  
"Draco let's leave the two lovebirds alone." De said, dragging him out of the Great Hall. He looked surprised. "Where is it?"  
"That way," He pointed down the hallway to their left. De nodded and he led her there. It was a big wooden statue of some weird girl with long painted blonde hair. De read the plaque aloud.  
"Dedicated to Hillary Duff, A wonderful rolemodel to little girls?" De reached into her pocket and pulled out a lighter. She started with the plaque. "I hate Hillary Duff."  
De stepped back as the statue burst into flames. "Fun, now, can you put it out?" She asked, grinning, as the flames burned an inch from the ground.  
Draco shook his head. "No."  
"Oh well. It will burn out." 


	6. Erica

MEANWHILE. (I've always wanted to say that! :-D)  
  
Erica crossed and uncrossed her legs nervously. Lucius was sitting down beside her, talking to one of the two fat kids. She could feel her face burning red. When their conversation was done, Erica told Lucius softly, "I'm really sorry about De again. She's sort of an idiot."  
"It's nothing. How do you like this school?"  
"It's cool."  
"What about De?"  
"She's upset because you don't have electricity here."  
"We have candle- and fire-electricity. She can take her pick from those," Lucius said seriously.  
"You mean. there really is such a thing as candle-electricity and fire-electricity?" Erica asked, her eyes wide in shock.  
"Of course," Lucius laughed. "Who doesn't know about that?"  
"Right, I must have forgotten for a second," Erica blushed. "So where are we going to sleep?"  
"You have a room in the dungeons."  
"The what?" Erica asked. "Dungeons?"  
"Yes, it isn't really all that bad. If you want anything, just ask Draco or I to do it." He paused. "I mean, fix up your room."  
"I'm sure Draco's got De covered at the moment," Erica muttered, smirking. "She's very happy to have moved here."  
"Why did you two move here?"  
"Because De got a job here."  
"What's that?"  
"Tom Felton's slave."  
"Oh, I see, who's Tom Felton?" Lucius asked curiously.  
"Well I guess it's kind of a paradox, because if Draco exists then he really shouldn't, or vice versa, because in a sense they're the same person." Erica explained in one breath. "But I suppose that there's a reasonable explanation for all of this, right?"  
"What do you mean they're the same person?"  
"I mean in the movies, Tom plays Draco."  
"What movies?"  
"The Harry Potter movies. Based on J.K Rowling's books."  
"Books? Movies? Harry Potter?" He raised his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"  
"This is really just a fanfiction, a figment of a twisted teenage girl's imagination. See, none of this is really happening."  
"What's a fanfiction?"  
"It's a story based on another story, using the same characters."  
"But- this is real life, this isn't a story."  
"Yes it is, ask De."  
"What would she know?"  
"She's the one writing this."  
"Writing this? Is she God or something?"  
"In a sense, yes. That's why she's with Draco and we're together. Because in real life, I like Jason Isaacs."  
"Jason Isaacs.?"  
"Is the actor who plays you."  
"Plays me? In what?"  
"The Harry Potter movies."  
"So let me get this straight. De's really God and this is all just a book?"  
"The De you know isn't God, the real De is," Erica thought of a way to explain it. "She's actually the author. Like I said, this is a book. You'll understand everything at the end."  
"The end? Of what?"  
"De's surprise ending. It's really violent and gorey. Lots of blood and guts."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I'm telling you that this is all really just a fanfiction story!"  
Lucius stood up, shaking his head and walking off as he said, "Americans are weird." 


End file.
